The Bad Hairdo.

It’s no secret that I incessantly change my hair. I change my hair so much that my twitter dedicated to tracking how long I can go without shaving any of it off has a few followers who actually guffaw along with me at my progress (over a month without the clippers at this point, boom). The problem with my hair metamorphosis obsession, however, is that it involves an awful lot of (Jerome Russel Bblonde – high lift powder bleach and maximum lift cream peroxide) bleaching. Here’s a little mosaic of my hair over the last 36 days.

As you can probably guess, one of my FAQs is “how the hell do I stop it from falling out?”
Well, years of struggling with straw hair and having to shave it off every few months (probably where the clipper addiction came from) means that to the detriment of my follicles, I’ve figured out a few little helpful tips on keeping a healthy head of hair.

My hair regime is actually pretty simple – there are very few things I do at this point to keep my hair on my head. With hair, less is more. The key thing I will preach to anyone is, where/whenever possible:

  • AVOID HEAT

This means that at all costs, please avoid the hair dryer and straighteners. I get that this is so much easier for me to say with my jarhead haircut, but even when I had my lusciously long mohawk I tried to only use the hairdryer when I was actually putting it up in a fan. It’s very important that your hair retains as much moisture and natural oil as possible, so avoid drying it out artificially. Letting it dry naturally is always the way to go. Heat is a big contributor to damaging the cuticles of you hair, which basically give it the texture and sheen of healthy hair as well as protecting the inner layers of your hair strands.

My second (and favourite) tip/trick for keeping my hair soft and on my head is mixing my own conditioning oils. I tried several over a good year or so, and have come out with my favourite and what I consider most the beneficial combination of:

  • GOLDEN JOJOBA OIL
  • PEPPERMINT OIL

It’s very important to note that peppermint oil should never be directly applied to the scalp or skin as it is a very pure oil and does give a burning sensation. I recommend a palm full of jojoba oil with up to 4 DROPS of peppermint oil at most added in, massaged into the hair like a conditioner. Alternately you can add the oils (still only ever a few drops at a time of peppermint) to your every day conditioner and use regularly. If you’ve nowhere to go the next day, I recommend just rinsing out the oils and not shampooing your hair (this will just wash them right back out). It will leave your hair feeling one of two ways, slightly crunchy or slightly greasy, but trust me, you’ll feel the benefits after your next wash and condition. If you must wash the oils out, rinse in the shower with water as hot as you can stand. The hot water will open up your hair follicles and give the oils a chance to settle in your scalp.

I usually buy jojoba oil in as large quantities as possible as it’s a lot more cost effective since you can use so much at a time. Peppermint oil goes a long way and I usually only ever buy 10/50ml at a time.

Peppermint oil also stimulates hair growth, so is great for people as fickle as myself.

So there you go, my every day regime and answer to the question “how the hell does my hair not fall out”. Definitely give the oils a try and let me know how it goes.

Love and tanks

Fonzie B x

Lovely.

I’ve had a thought that to quell the bugs in my brain at times, I should write down when I have lovely days. Or days when lovely things happen. I feel like if I do this, then during those periods where I’m anxious that everyone in my life is out to get me, or nothing is going right, I can read back about these lovely times and feel, well, lovely.

Today was nothing extraordinary; it was nothing revolutionary, but it was a day that ended on a high.
Booga met me on the train (I’ve lived with him twice and I see him loads throughout the week now that we’re living apart again, but I still have to fight back a Cheshire cat sized grin every time I walk up to him – he’s just so damn pretty) and we headed into town together. He needed some jeans as he has a tendency to wear them until they split (usually in the crotch) and he’s useless at patching things. We got the shopping over with quickly, large shops and bank holidays are a nightmare, and he then took me comic routing to see if we could find any of the Two Girls One Tank variant covers I’m missing.
We managed to find one. I now own 6/11 variants of issue 1.

We then nipped for food. Nothing special, we just grabbed a bite to eat and had a pint at Wetherspoons. It was a beautiful day and we didn’t half fancy sitting in a beer garden, but absolutely everywhere was chocca. We finished eating and decided to head home; we had a fridge full of beers leftover from my birthday party at the weekend and a perfectly good garden there anyway.
I think my favourite part of the whole day was sitting out back of my mums sipping cold tinnies and listening to brilliant early 2000s bubblegum punk. We might look like street punks on the outside, but I think we’re secret pop punk kids deep down – somewhat at least.

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Oh he’s soooo pretty

After that he had to head home which always sucks.
It’s usually after good days that the bugs start picking on me. I guess it’s some kind of “You don’t deserve to have enjoyed yourself so we’re going to drop a tonne of anxiety onto your brain” thing. I’m at a point now where after 8 years, I’m pretty damn tired of letting it get to me. I’m finding little coping mechanisms after all this time that are finally starting to help. Maybe I’ll write a post on them sometime.

I guess these posts will be more for me than anyone else. Just little reminders that I can have good days. Here’s to hoping the good starts to outweigh the bad.

Love and tanks
Fonzie B x

PMA.

There are still bugs in my brain.
Niggling little mites that bite me with their sharp little teeth at (now thankfully) irregular intervals throughout my day. Their bites still itch though, and cause problems in my life.

I’ve suffered with a diagnosed mental illness for almost 8 years now. I’ve suffered with an undiagnosed mental illness for most of my life. It’s irreversibly damaged some of my relationships, greatly affected others and and isa constant source of anguish in my day to day life. I’m one of the lucky few who have managed to be in care for most of their illness and I can admit I was never the best patient. More often than not I would disregard the help being given to me, it was easier ‘to be sick’.

Last year I hit my breaking point. My self harm turned into me severely physically assaulting others, loved ones at that, and every day was a tremendous battle. I hit rock bottom. And the old cliché turned out to be true. Once I hit rock bottom, the only way left to go was up.

It’s the past few weeks I’ve really noticed the changes. I’ve gotten more involved in groups with my social workers help. I’m throwing my own two cents in with my psychiatrist in regards to my medication. I’ve started an anger management group (which makes me a little angry, ironically) and I’m back on the waiting list for CBT yet again. But it’s not just that, it’s genuinely how I’m dealing with little daily things. I’m not just flying off the handle or breaking down. I’m taking a step back, a deep breath and looking at the bigger picture.

Today, I accidentally ruined one of my favourite possessions (a material anti capitalist, ha). A broken can of spray paint meant that I ruined the back of the vegan leather jacket Booga bought me for Christmas from www.straighttohellapparell.com
It was a disaster. Red paint all over a finished white stencil and 600 studs. Any other day I would have hit the roof. I would have blamed everyone around me, smashed things, hurt my head and basically been a bitch for a few hours. Not today though. Today I took a deep breath and saw it as an opportunity to completely revamp the jacket. I’d started it last year during my bad phase; here was a chance to start it fresh in my good phase.

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I managed to clean it up to this point before smudging paint over the whole thing, again.

There are still bugs in my brain though. Little things like a few hours between texts still trigger paranoia that something bad may have happened, but I really am learning to just step back and realise there are a million reasons people can’t get to the phone and not all of them are bad.

I feel good.
I feel well.
I feel lucky.
I feel loved.
I feel positive.

So fuck you bugs. I’ll squash you yet.